You work out of a Hotel?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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