Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
