I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
