yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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