There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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