So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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