I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Plan B is the new Plan A
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
