where am i from again
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
