i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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