in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
