I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
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Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
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Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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