The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
