i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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