my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
