Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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