Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she smelled like a LAN party
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize