he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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