Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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