yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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