then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
