she kept yelling 'call me bella'
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
