They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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