So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
