The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
