Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
