Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
