i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i wish my penis had a tongue
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
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