Whod you bang
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
