The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Pants are for mortals
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize