Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
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