There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
