who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
