p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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