In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
