New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
