I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
