So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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