Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize