Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize