I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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