i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
