i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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