You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
