call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i think i just lost a toe
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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