youre lurking in front of me
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
