I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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