I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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