my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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