HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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