Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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