thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize