We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
