I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
