i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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