Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize