Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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