I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize