I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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