bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
