ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize