he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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