similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
