I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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