his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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