As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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