I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
