i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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